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nothing says I missed you like a bowel movement beside your bed

02 March 2011

Valentine’s Day, a couple of weeks ago, was full of “you light up my life” and “nothing can shake the foundations of my joy when I’m with you” messages from Hallmark.

thanks for the slobbers Luna

You may have even given your hubbie, wife, or girlfriend one of these cards along with some flowers. (MW got a very thoughtful gift from me).

When it comes to expressing affection or appreciation for a friendship, nothing, though, quite says “I love you” or “I missed you” like a bowel movement beside your bed.

It immediately fills the room with the midday smells of your local feedlot.

This is how Luna welcomed us home after being absent for a week. Not just once or twice or even three times. She welcomed us 4 times in 2 days!

Boarding in Paradise

OD is halfway through grade 7 so we took her to the East Coast Feb. 19-26 to tour some boarding schools. Luna stayed home where we found her a great boarding situation.

We didn’t place her in an anonymous kennel. We didn’t stick her on a ranch with sheep or cattle. Nope, we found a local family with two young girls who fawned over her like she was a canine Justin Bieber.

She was as coddled as any animal could be. (They sent us pictures so we know she was spoiled).

She had all of her toys. She ate her regular food. She even had cable TV, which she doesn’t have at our house. She probably watched Jersey Shore and some of the classier “Real Housewives of…” series.

Great dane lover from Dagoba

inspire dog to poop beside bed will I

When we returned home, she exhibited a twist on what Yoda, not having once celebrated Valentine’s Day on Dagoba, might have characterized as a descent toward the Dark Side. The original version goes something like this:

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to poop.”

Luna welcomed us back once on Sunday and then 3X in an hour Monday morning. Once or twice? Those could be accidents. But four times? That’s about the point at which “accident” becomes “trend.”

Next year, we’re not planning any February trips. We can’t take the chance that Luna’s Valentine Day’s card will be signed:

Poop and kisses,
Luna dog
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