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luna at 15: great dane with the dragon tattoo

03 March 2011

Luna turned 15 weeks today.  She should have her own TV show. It could be called Luna at 15.

You have to be a certain age (>40) to remember James at 15, the well-reviewed coming-of-age TV show that aired on NBC in 1977-78. Lance Kerwin starred as a high schooler trying to figure out what to do with his life while hitting on Kate Jackson (unsuccessfully) and the Swedish exchange student (very successfully).

Luna’s coming-of-age show would be about finding her way, getting her way and struggling to balance the pressures of puppyhood. What are these pressures? Well, sex isn’t one of them. (If it is, she’d better do what she can soon as she’s going to be spayed sometime in the next 12 months).

Great Dane with the Dragon Tattoo

the dane with the dragon tattoo

Is There an Emmy in Our Future?

Here is how a first season might look in a pitch to Carsey-Werner Productions, which knows how to make successful TV shows (The Cosby Show, A Different World, Roseanne, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and That ’70s Show):

Pilot: The Dane with the Dragon Tattoo

Background: Young dog relocates with her human family from gritty metropolis to farming community.

Plot: Making new friends is difficult. Luna struggles and falls in with some negative influences. She redeems Iams pet food coupons so she can save money to get a dragon tattoo on her belly. Her family picks her up just as she is getting her tat.

Episode #1: The Chubby Puppy Strikes Back

Background: Luna at 15 weighs 37 lb. (increase of 10 lb. in 3 weeks).

Plot: Explore weight gain and body image issues for puppies. Who wants to be called “hey chubby puppy” at the local dog park?

Episode #2: Big Mamma’s Doghouse

Background: Luna measures 22.5 in. at the shoulder.

Plot: Luna’s not exactly Clifford but she is the tallest puppy in the neighborhood. She’s the freshman girl who is 6 ft. tall and has been slouching since grade 5. How does she deal with the looks, the stares, and those common and inconsiderate “wow, you’re such a big puppy, you’re going to be huge when you grow up” comments?

Episode #3: How About a Little Gore-Tex?

Background: Luna dislikes rain and doesn’t like walks in inclement weather.

Plot: Explore the almost unthinkable idea that your parents can’t control everything, such as the weather. The world isn’t perfect so deal with it. Joan Rivers’ daughter Melissa, Paris Hilton and puppies all have a sense of entitlement

Episode #4: Dangerous Liaisons

Background: Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E), the Northern California energy monopoly, has trouble maintaining its natural gas pipeline network with tragic results, as well as candidly speaking to regulators abut historic practice of hiring meth addicts as repair welders.

Plot: Luna, Zoe (Bernese Mountain Dog) and their neighbor Fergie (English Bulldog) are playing in the schoolyard across the street with a cell phone they’ve just found. They suddenly smell natural gas, and quickly identity a leak coming from a nearby PG&E pipeline. They struggle to dial 911 with their paws before the fumes ignite. Will their call be answered? The season ends with “Who Shot JR?” drama. Answer revealed after Carsey-Werner pick up option for second season.

Luna’s finding out who she is. It is her life at 15. It could be a hit.

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