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dangers of seasonal affective disorder for puppies

21 March 2011

Parental Caution Advised: Potentially unsettling graphics of malice aforethought.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD as it is known), is the reason most frequently cited by women in Canada to justify to their spouses February trips to Cancun.

According to the Mayo Clinic, SAD is a type of depression that occurs in the fall and winter because people can’t get out and wear shorts.

In Russia, SAD pushes residents of cities like Novosibirsk and Yakutsk to increase vodka consumption. In Northern California, it can push great dane puppies to relieve themselves unconditionally and with malice aforethought inside their homes.

SAD Made Me Do It

This is the only possible explanation of Luna’s behavior on Friday. While other parts of the United States are suffering drought, there ain’t no drought here. Not after this winter and what must be the wettest February/March of the century.

Aztec Sun God

mister rain no here: who you pray to when it's been pouring for weeks

Luna has yet to find Benedictine acceptance of rain, hail or sleet. She dislikes going outside even when it is lightly drizzling. So she stays indoors under a polar fleece blankie, praying to Tonatiuh, the Aztec sun god, for a break in the weather. Should said break appear, she rushes to the door to do her business in the garden.

When a break doesn’t come, she waits until we forcibly take her outside. And if we’re too engrossed in our travails to take her outside… paraphrase Forrest Gump, accidents happen.

A Friday the 13th on March 18

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. Luna must have been suffering terribly from SAD. So depressed she forgot the progress she had made in understanding that the family pet who pees and poops outside makes her family happy.

In just 30 minutes, she had two (what we’ll charitably call) “accidents,” undoing much of the goodwill she’d built up in the previous month with us.

how to clean up dog urine

thing 1

How to clean up dog accidents in the home

thing 2

When Good Dogs Do Bad Things, They Forget English

MW handled the cleanup while I handled the dressing down part. The vocal part where there’s no room for “you’re such a good dog,” and it’s all “what were you thinking?”

Doubtful it will work because I think Luna’s still a few study hours short of being able to meet the TOEFL standard.

Here is a plan that might work: head to Berkeley to buy some grow lights. Install them as wall sconces over her bed in the living room. Run them at least four hours a day. Make sure curtains are drawn whenever it is raining. Carry her outside for potty breaks while she’s sleeping. Put her in the middle of the lawn and wake her up. Yell “go potty” as enthusiastically as if we’ve just won a Price is Right showcase.

Or we could just sacrifice something to the glory of Tonatiuh.

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