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how to kiss a puppy

09 June 2011

If you’ve got a girlfriend or spouse you know there are lots of places to kiss them. There are also some places you probably shouldn’t. Same rules apply if you have a puppy.

People Kiss Puppies?

Sure do. Most people, within 10 min. of picking up their puppy, have smooched him/her. It’s human nature.

If more people kissed puppies, there’d be a lot less stress in the world. Happiness would soar. People would cook more at home. Sales of fresh vegetables and fruits would rise. Crimes of passion would drop, as would meltdowns on national TV.

How angry can you get if you’re kissing a puppy regularly? Charlie Sheen would probably still have his $1.8M per episode gig on Two and a Half Men. Oh, for want of a three-month-old dog.

Made for Kissing

Know where to kiss your puppy

There's a right way and a wrong way to kiss your puppy. Here's how.

Puppies were made for kissing. But not everywhere. My basic rule is avoid anything involved in the nasty parts of puppy life. That means anything that touches the ground or other dogs’ bums, or contacts stuff at the dog park, etc.

Confused? If you’re more of a visual learner, the We’re Dog People’s graphic arts department produced this study guide to Luna’s face. You can adopt it for your own puppy/dog. My own family is freewheelingly independent when it comes to kissing our Great Dane puppy:

OD

OD ignores the guidelines and likes to kiss Luna on the end of her nose. The part that’s supposed to be moist.

Me

OD’s kissing doesn’t work for me. I give Luna a kiss goodnight on the flat part between her eyes.

MW

MW is almost flagrant with her kisses. I think she might just close her eyes and drop her lips, kissing whatever she touches. (This summer, she needs to try that on me).

And there’s only two kinds of kisses: a short peck, or a nice loud raspberry.

There you go. A recipe for some loving this summer with your puppy, who, by summer’s end, will sadly be less of a puppy and closer to doghood.

Enjoy the smooching while you can.

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