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cindy crawford’s mole and an empty belly

24 June 2011

More Bees With Honey than Vinegar?

I’ve never actually set out a dish of honey to confirm whether the oft-cited recommendation that you’ll get more bees with honey than vinegar actually works. It makes logical sense, of course, that a sweet temperament will generate more in return than a sour one.

It’s probably also true if more bees is really what you want. Given our Great Dane puppy’s recent experience with insect stings, however, we’ll double down on the vinegar.

When it comes to begging for food, though, my recommendation is that tragedy and misery and epic sadness will advance your cause further than joy. Look as sad as possible. If you’ve got a supermodel Cindy Crawford mole adding a little character to your beauty, so much the better.

Moles can weaken even the strongest of souls. Our puppy Luna has not one, but, two moles. I feel almost doomed by fate.Cindy Crawford's Mole and a Great Dane puppy'sSaying No to a Cindy Crawford Mole?

OK, it can happen. Richard Gere did indeed say no to Cindy when they divorced in 1995 after four years of marriage. But in our house, it’s very hard to say no to the two Cindy Crawford moles.

The moles are a key part of the visage I’ve had to look at all week long as Luna has begun lining up for meals two hours before the habitual time. (Ed note: Is it even a line if there’s only one dog asking for dinner?). When I say meals, I mean both lunch and dinner.

Great Dane puppy ready for dinner

what sadness and hunger look like

Take a look at this pic from yesterday afternoon. It was 3:30 pm, two hours before we usually feed her. As you can see, she’s first in line. She’s giving me that look. The moles are in full view. Her palpable sadness and misery are convincing. The non-verbal communication is clear:

“if only you’d feed me and fill my empty belly, I could know for a fleeting moment a little happiness.”

She wants to eat in the now.

Filling a Void

During the past ten days, Luna’s vomited outside at least 4-5 times, most often in the early morning. Each time, she deposited the remains of her most recent feeding. The effect of doing this so often seems to have left her with an important calorie deficit that’s getting in the way of her growth, or, alternately, creating tummy rumbles that she’s too weak to ignore.

Snoopy with dog food bowl: weredogpeople.wordpress.com

even imaginary dogs are demanding when hungry

Which means I’ve frequently had to look at her this week sitting and lying and standing in her corral, yellow food bowl empty, yet within reach. If she was a theater major–or Snoopy–she’d probably amplify the drama by opting for a single spot illuminating the bowl and accentuating the loneliness of this hungry and obviously forsaken puppy.

And so I give in a little bit. Enough to satisfy her tummy for a few moments, and enough to satisfy my own pride that we’re still in control and the puppy isn’t running the asylum. This means one one-inch square dog treat.

Or two. I find it really hard to resist the moles.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 25 June 2011 1:39 pm

    We like the pics of luna and snoopy. Dogs will always eat whether hungry or not. It’s their nature.

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