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guinness world records for dogs: a few I’d like to see

12 July 2011

According to the Guinness World Records (the company), the Guinness World Records (the book) is the world’s best-selling copyrighted book, selling 3.5 million copies a year. It also maintains a website that’s chock full of inane, yet, successful efforts at how to stand out among our planet’s 6.5 billion inhabitants.

Guinness World Records for Dogs

Search for “dog” and here are some of the records that Guinness tracks:

World’s Tallest Living Dog

Give it up for ‘Giant George,’ a Great Dane, of course, who measured 43 in. tall on February 15, 2010. George lives with his family in Tucson, Arizona.

World's Tallest Dog, Giant George

even lying down with his owner, the world's tallest dog is big

World’s Tallest Female Living Dog

Nova, a Great Dane (not surprising, is it?), from Illinois, stands 35.5 in. (height to her shoulder). She isn’t svelte, either; weighing 160 lb., which is more than many Great Dane males.

World’s Smallest Living Dog

This is the canine world’s Mini-Me award. Say hello to Kentucky’s own Boo Boo, a female long-haired Chihuahua measuring just 4 in. tall. She weighs 1.5 lbs.

World's Smallest Dog Boo Boo

and we shall call you boo boo. About the weight of a 20 oz. miller lite, this is the world's smallest dog, according to the folks at guinness world records

Highest Jump by a Dog

Cindy, a greyhound from Florida, jumped over a 68 in. high bar on Oct. 7, 2006. Her AKC name is the somewhat ridiculous Cinderella May a Holly Grey.

Longest Tongue

Brandy (died Sept. 2002), a boxer from Michigan, had a tongue measuring 17 in.

Part of the lasting curiosity of Guinness’ record monitoring is that it invariably includes numerous oddities. Here are three very odd records that have something to do with dogs:

Longest Time on Doggy Death Row

Two biting incidents sent a Lhasa Apso named Word to the Seattle Animal Control Shelter on May 4, 1993. On Nov. 10, 2001, Word was transferred by an armed guard to the Pigs Peace Sanctuary, Washington. No word from Guinness on what the hell Word’s owner did while his pet faced euthanasia for eight years. (Note: I was kidding about the armed escort stuff).

Fastest Car Window Opened by a Dog

Francis Gadassi, a Hungarian with more time on his hand than most of his fellow countrymen, trained his Border Collie Stiker to unwind manual car windows. At a Sept. 2004 promotional event in Quebéc City, Striker unwound a non-electric car window in 11.34 seconds.

Dog With Largest Repertoire Of Tricks

Canadian Sharon Robinson must have spent most of her adult life training her toy poodle Chanda-Leah. During a live TV performance in 2007, Chanda-Leah demonstrated just a few of the 469 tricks she can do. Among them are piano playing, understanding basic multiplication and riding a skateboard.

Some of Chanda-Leah’s trick are cute. I’ve seen a video of several of them that more than a few able-bodied humans might have trouble with. She’s cute to watch.

Authentically Reflecting Life with Dogs

Most of the “records,” though, certainly don’t reflect the reality of raising a puppy. If Guinness strove for authenticity and reflected the real world of dog ownership, the records they tracked would be very different.

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Highest number of slippers rendered unwearable during first year.
  2. Most children toys destroyed within first month with new family.
  3. Pairs of pumps with one or more heels missing.
  4. Number of times bitten during puppy training by a dog weighing less than half the larger dog’s weight.
  5. Square footage of grass destroyed by urine (female category only).
  6. Shortest amount of time to brown more than 50% of lawn size (female category only).
  7. Number of indoor accidents (poop or pee).
  8. Number of consecutive hours spent on a sofa.
  9. Longest uninterrupted sleep.
  10. Highest aggregate vet bill for a dog’s first year of life.

This is the real world of dog ownership. I hope Guinness reflects it one day.

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