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silent but deadly: a flatulent puppy

07 December 2011

Is a flatulent puppy a happy puppy?

ready for a new mission: a silent assassin waits

As we’re dealing more frequently with the first situation, it’s a serious question worth pondering to know whether the same dog can also be happy. I offer the following tale.

When short days and cold weather arrive, Great Dane puppies don’t follow many of their shaggier canines in developing wooly coats. Our puppy Luna still sports the same ¾ inch-long fur that she did in the summer. With the mornings now quite chilly, she’s developed a habit of eating her breakfast as quickly as possible (2 ¾ cups of food in about 1 min. 10 sec.), jumping outside to do her business and then racing back into the house.

From our kitchen, it’s 20 frantically thunderous leaps upstairs to an airborne assault onto our bed. Once on the bed, she quickly disappears beneath the winter-weight duvet to slide back into a state of semi-conscious relaxation in the shadows. She lies between MW and me, her head usually beside our ankles. While we enjoy the warmth and consider beginning our day, she lies there in somnolent repose.

What happens next is a little like fracking. Fracking is a controversial natural gas extraction method in which a mixture of water, sand and nasty chemistry is injected, under high pressure, into a well to crack (or fracture) the rock below. When the rock is cracked, gas is released from the darkness and ascends to the surface above.

Luna has her own version of fracking. Give her more than 15 minutes under the covers and she’s able to silently produce a sizable quantity of her own odoriferous gas. Not unlike pre-fracked gas, it remains beneath the covers in the dark waiting to be released into the atmosphere above. Should we raise or shift the duvet, we’re met with the visual peace of our resting puppy and some olfactory nastiness produced somewhere inside her GI tract.

This describes every morning for us. A lovely warm space heater for the bed that just happens to give off something almost as deadly as carbon monoxide. It’s the price we pay for enjoying a toasty warm bed in the chill of the early morning.

Oh, and the answer to the question above? As long as Luna is regularly fed, rested and exercised, she’s a happy camper/puppy. Flatulence, apparently, doesn’t affect her humor one way or the other. It just affects her family in a silent but deadly manner.

Great Dane puppy in bed

with a little flatulence: luna relaxes in our bed after disturbing a weekend morning

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